Some kids are natural leaders. (We all know that 3-year-old who organizes their playmates and is happy to take charge of whatever situation they are in.) Other children learn how to be a leader like they learn how to play a sport or an instrument. Regardless, here are some ways that parents can foster leadership qualities in their kids that will help them lead as they get older โฆ and one or two things parents accidentally do that end up stifling leadership qualities in their kids.
Leadership & Children
Right out of the gate, itโs important to understand that leadership is not a singular skill โ kids donโt learn โleadership.โ Instead, it is a group of skills that work together.ย Those skillsย include:
- Self-confidence.
- Problem solving.
- Teamwork.
- Responsibility.
- The ability to express thoughts and feelings.
- Independence.
Just like how good hand-eye coordination and stamina make a good soccer player or perfect pitch makes a good musician, some children are โnaturalโ leaders. In other words, their personalities naturally push them into positions of leadership.
But leadership skills can be learned and cultivated, too.ย According toย Dr. Karon LeCompteย at Baylor University, leadership is a lifelong pursuit. โCertainly, one can argue that people are born with characteristics that leverage them toward leadership positions.โ
How Parents Affect a Childโs Leadership Style
Parents have enormous influence on their childrenโs development and behavior. And while thatโs empowering, it can also have you feeling like this โฆ
Your childโs leadership qualities are not excluded from this reality. Take a look at your parenting style to see if any of these behaviors are present.
- Supervise into submissionย โ One of the most detrimental things parents can do as it relates to growing their childโs leadership skills is โhelicopter parenting.โย Multiple studiesย done with teenagers have shown that the ones with overprotective parents had lower self-esteem and were less confident about being a leader. โOverparenting may also create this undermining effect because it signals to children that they are not capable of independence and that their parents donโt trust them to look after themselves, let alone others,โ wrote the BBCโs Christian Jarrett.
As difficult as it sounds, letting children take risks and avoiding the urge to rescue them from hard situations is vital to developing their leadership skills. โIf parents remove risk from childrenโs lives, we will likely experience high arrogance and low self-esteem in our growing leaders,โ said Forbeโs contributor.
Your goal as a parent is not to keep difficult things from happening to your child โ your job is to give them:- The guidance they need to make the best decision possible โฆ
- And the security of knowing you are there for them regardless of the outcome.
Obviously this doesnโt mean letting them do obviously dangerous or life-threatening things. But if a scraped knee or a bruised ego now means self-confidence and better problem-solving in the future, then let your child make the decision for themself.
Silence withย yourย past mistakesย โ Kids are already prone to think that the adults in their life are perfect. Donโt let them!
If you have a trusted relationship with your child,ย share relevant mistakesย you made when you were their age as a way for them to learn how to make good choices. Be the appropriate cautionary tale in their life so they can learn how to navigate tough decisions or see negative consequences to poor choices.
- Not leading by exampleย โ OOF. This one hurts. But itโs true. Similar to the previous point, kids are looking to their parents as the primary example of character and behavior in their lives. If they see their parents being brave, growing as leaders, and making wise decisions, theyโll have the template they need to do the same thing for themselves.
Not to counteract being silent about past mistakes, but parents also need to humble brag on themselves a bit. When you make good decisions that show off your leadership skills, talk about it in front of your children. Not only can they now see what not to do in a given situation, you can be the example of what a leader looks like, too.ย
Every child canโt become the leader of a country or a major corporation. But everyone is asked to be a leader at times, so nurturing leadership skills is vital to their development. As a parent, contribute to their success by building up those skills while your children are small. Itโs never too late to start building confident, responsible human beings.
